Updates

Thanks everyone for your positive thoughts...although Deven "Peanut" was born at 4:37 last Thursday afternoon- he is doing really well for being such a tiny tiny little baby boy. He has a lot of growing to do before coming home from the hospital- so please keep him in your thoughts.

This weekend we got a little crafty (again!!)

Paper Christmas tree- I got this idea from here.



The new wreath on our front door- Lily picked all the pieces out.



This is what we did this morning on the way to school and work...

View out my office window around noon today...

Lily was so excited for the snow this morning...my hour plus commute (normally 15min) was not so exciting. Hopefully I am ok for the ride home. Wish me luck. I HATE driving in the snow- even just a little snow.

Happy Thoughts

Most of you know my big sister is pregnant (So exciting!). She's about 30 ish weeks I think...I won't go into too much detail but she really needs your thoughts and prayers for her and little Peanut right now.

Any woman who has been pregnant before knows the extreme emotions that can come with pregnancy- add some complications on top of it and would be easy to fall to pieces. But, I know my sister is so strong and whatever happens she'll do what she needs to do when it comes down to it. I'm right there with her in my heart.

Joeleen (and Dat and Peanut)- I love you! We all love you and we are thinking about you and sending strength and peace your way.

Love, Sarah

30 Days of Truth: Day 11

Something people seem to compliment you the most on.


I think anyone who knows me could guess this one... I get the most compliments on my crafty/creative stuff. Obviously that is where my heart is so it really makes sense. I get joy out of creating...seeing my ideas come to life and sharing with people I care about. Since I mostly make cards it makes every gift I give more meaningful and thoughtful and I really like that.
 
People compliment me on being organized- which I am in some ways but not in others. I lose my keys at least once a day. And my cell phone. But my brain is organized. Really. Don't laugh.
 
People compliment me on being helpful because that is what I do. It feels good to be recognized for it though-even if it is part of my job. I really try to go above and beyond for members because I know that is what I would want. Plus it makes me happy and it is good for business!!!
 
Someone wonderful in my life tells me how beautiful and amazing I am everyday : ) I'm so lucky.

Oooh...crafty!

Thanksgiving Turkey Centerpieces by Lily and Kendra

I totally realize it is too early to actually start decorating for Christmas...but is it wrong to go to Joanns, Michaels and Target and wander through the Christmas sections just to satisfy the urge? Is it wrong to have my radio station planted on the "Christmas Station" already? Is it too early for Christmas movies, because we already watched the Grinch the other day...

All I know is the day after Thanksgiving...crafty/decorating time is on...and no one will stop me...oooh I just have so many cute ideas but so little time!!!

30 days of Truth: Day 10

Some one you need to let go or wish you didn't know.

Well, I don't know if it is cheating to keep changing or skipping the question...but I think I posted before that after reading this list a little more thoroughly- some of the questions may be encouraging "truthfulness" but I feel aren't particularly productive in any sense of the word. This post is now titled:

Something you need to let go of...

Lately I have been struggling with the "Stay At Home Mom" issue. With Kindergarten on my mind...I've been thinking a lot about how we will navigate the "school" years with Lily. There is a huge part of me that wants to stay home- and only work part time during school hours- and be there for Lily after school for homework and after school activities. I always wanted to be a SAHM. When I had Lily I didn't have to work the whole first year of her life and I knew it was what I wanted to do. Of course the situation changed and I went to back to work part time- then more changes and I've been full time for the last three and a half years. But there is this lingering nagging regret, nagging doubt that just keeps bugging me. I constantly go over and over in my head all the options- weighing costs, pros and cons....all of it. How can I make it work next year so I get what I want but can still pay the bills?

Well, here's the deal. The other deal. Going back to part time is a step backward work wise. If we ever want to buy a house...save...go on vacation...get a new car...it just won't work. Money would be tight all the time. And then going back to work full time eventually I'd have to start over- bottom of the totem pole, right? I don't care about being rich or anything even close- but it would be nice to be comfortable- to not have to worry all the time. If I just keep working being comfortable is a real possibility- especially after Lily's daycare costs go down next year. I would be able to save...maybe get a van instead of my crappy ole car (OMG! Did I just say that?). Who knows...

At this point though it is all just thinking and worrying and doubting and more thinking and worrying. There isn't anything I can or need to do right now. There are at least nine more months before I really even need to make any kind of decision. I have to wait and see.

So for now I have to let it go, focus on today and see what happens.

And quit worrying.

Lessons in Forgiveness

We had a rough Monday morning. Lily and I both left the house in a huff, grumpy and frustrated after a struggle to FOR THE LOVE GET OUT OF THE HOUSE ON TIME!!!! 
In the car Lily said she was sorry about her bad attitude while getting ready but I was still feeling the frustration and couldn't immediately just let it go.
When we arrived at school our attitudes toward each other were still icy at best. I put her blanket in her cubby and turned to go. Though instead of leaving just then, I knelt down in front of her and squeezed her as tight as I could. I gave her the biggest bear hug and when I finally let go and looked at her- I could tell all was forgiven. She smiled. I smiled.

If only for me it was always that easy... though for her it is. The time we spent frustrated and angry melted away with something as simple as a hug. Inherently childlike yet also immensely wise. FORGIVE. BE HAPPY.

Now that is how to start a Monday.

30 Days of Truth: Day 9

I know, I know...what happened to day 8, right?.... Well, I decided anyone who has made my life hell in the past isn't worth my time. So, moving on...

Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

I thought about this one after I went to my 10 year class reunion last month. As you will remember- I didn't have a whole lot of fun that evening. But I realized while I was there that there was one person I was actually hoping to see who didn't end up being there. Afterwards, I Facebook stalked her a little and saw that she seems to be doing all right and is still local...but I haven't had the courage to send a message yet.

We were good friends the last few years of high school- on the crew team together then ended up in the same "group" of friends. After I left for college, we just never connected again. I think about her sometimes wondering if we could still be friends. Wondering what would have been different if I had stayed in touch or if that one time I ran into her mom she had been there..or if I had just called sometime to say what's up.

Now it has been more than 10 years. Too late? Any suggestions? Words of encouragement?

Disney on Ice

My step mom won four tickets to Disney on Ice this weekend and gave them to Martin and I and the girls. They were so excited and had a lot of fun. So many other little girls dressed up in frilly dresses or princess costumes-I didn't even think of dressing them up aww : ( Lily was so sad it was over- so definitely two thumbs up from the girls.



30 Days of Truth- Day 6 and 7

Something you hope you never have to do (Day 6)

I can't even put this into words. I don't want to put it into words. All I can think of is this post by The Real Life of a Redhead.

Someone who makes your life worth living (Day 7)

Lily marched around the cafeteria in her bumblebee costume- stinger and all. I stayed on the sidelines and cheered her on. She waved as she passed by with a huge smile on her face. She felt like such a big kid lining up with the kindergartners to put on a special costume parade. Her face was lit up- her hair was a crazy mess from the static of the costume and her enthusiastic jumping for joy, for pure fun and her little feet couldn't stay still.

Earlier in the evening some of the children had discovered the stairway that led up to the stage. They ran up front and center dancing and showing off, playing games and chasing. Lily hung back not sure if she should or even wanted to participate, letting Kendra and her kindergarten friends run wild instead.

"Mom, what those kids are doing doesn't look very safe," she explained. Maybe explaining away her fear. Maybe saying what I might have said in a moment anyway.

"Hmmm," I said. "You're right Lily. It doesn't look very safe. You can stay here if you want to." Though I could sense that there was a piece of her that wasn't quite sure.

As the parade of children rounded the last corner of the cafeteria I assumed the parade would end there in front. Instead, the teacher leading the parade led them right up the stairway and onto the stage. I was sure Lily would have a meltdown. I was sure she wouldn't know what to do or the steep stairway with no railing would be too scary. I positioned myself accordingly as she approached. I was close in, ready to jump in and save the day as needed. Except then she looked at me with her bright blue eyes and marched up the steps with no hesitation. She turned around once she got to the top and waved a huge wave while her face was stuck in a permanent grin.

I waved back, just as enthusiastically. My heart swelled as I let her excitement and sense of adventure fill me too. My girl. My big girl growing up.

I read something recently about the process of letting our children go. Before birth they literally are one with a mother's body but from the moment they are born they are a forever separated part of our souls- and every moment after that is a process of letting it go. Lily has always been this kind of inseparable part of me. When she was little she relied on me for everything. Every part of her has been dependent on my care- of my being there. But then something changed- small things that seemed almost insignificant in some ways at the time. She learn to feed herself, go potty, dress herself...then on this particular day it hit home. She faced and mastered her own fear. Made an independent decision and took on a challenge. I realized from here on all I can do is cheer her on from the sidelines. All I can do is be excited at what ever she is excited about and hope for the best. Everything else is going to be up to her.

I am up for the challenge. That girl makes my life worth living everyday.

More Halloween Fun

This year we went back to Lake Forest Park Towne Center for trick or treating. Martin and I talked beforehand quite a bit about what exactly we wanted to do- neighborhood or mall? Since the weather was supposed to be bad we decided the mall would be best- plus we didn't really know which neighborhoods would feel safe- and we were comfortable with. In the end we decided that neither one of the girls knows any different than mall trick or treating- they don't remember the "good ol' days" of pillowcases full of candy- tons of kids up and down the streets.  Lake Forest Park, like last year, seemed like it would be more festive plus had more activities to keep the girls occupied for a little while.

We went to all the businesses marked with balloons- though I was surprised to see how many businesses have gone out since last year. But it seemed like most who were open participated. We got to see lots of other little kids costumes also. One little girl walked by Lily and said "Fairies must be really popular this year!" Very cute.

After the trick or treating, the commons area at Third Place Books had a group of Mexican musicians and dancers playing traditional Day of the Dead canciones. The music was wonderful and the dancers with their costumes were so fun to watch. They had a large space in front where the kids were also encouraged to dance. Kendra danced very nearly the entire time. Lily took a lot longer to warm up to the idea but got out there toward the end.

After dancing- Kendra and Kathe were getting tired so they headed home while Martin, Lily and I stayed around for some arts and crafts. Lily got face paint- a butterfly- then made a fall leaf wreath, a day of the dead skull mask and a ghostly bookmark. You know me- I had to stick around for the crafts! The camera died as she was getting her face painted so I have no crafty pictures : (

On the way home we saw quite a few decorated houses and some people out and about in a little cul-de-sac near our house. We decided to stop and try a few houses. Lily was surprisingly up for it (must have been the sugar high)- walking around in the dark going up to strange houses. Not our normal routine for sure. But she did a great job- I think the candy was the motivating factor. I'm so glad Martin was with us- I never would have stopped had it been just us girls! Now though she has a taste for it- so we may not get away with mall trick-or-treating next year. We'll have to see.

Friday I left work early so I could go to the Halloween party they had in her classroom. Everyone got to dress up, have treats then go trick or treating in each classroom in the daycare. Only one parent other than me came but since I didn't get to go to the pumpkin farm field trip the week before- so I was cool with this. The kids in her class were super excited I was there (or was it the camera they were loving?) They were all making silly faces at the table as they were eating treats- begging me to take pictures of them.

Hope everyone had as much fun as we did this year!

Halloween Festivities

We had TWO pumpkin carving adventures

 Can you guess whose pumpkin is whose??? Leave me a comment!

 Lily dressed as a fairy princess on Halloween

 Kendra was a pirate...but didn't want to wear her pirate hat...and we forgot her sword!!!

More pictures tonight.