Last night Lily threw a fit before going to bed and slammed her bedroom door (twice!). I told her she was about to lose her door but then I realized that she hates having her door closed anyway so it really wasn't much of an incentive. Instead she had to go straight to bed without snuggles and stories. I felt bad but knew I had to get through to her that her behavior was unacceptable. I'm not sure if I did. This morning she was pretty much all smiles and seemed to have forgotten about it- and I kind of wish she hadn't.
The thing is, all I asked her to do was to go play a little before it was time to get ready for bed. She had been sitting on the couch with me finishing a movie. Such a simple request. Go play! Not a punishment but somehow that is how she interpreted it. I am not sure why. I don't understand that part of her that needs to be defiant just for the sake of being defiant. She doesn't want to do something simple or quick just because I asked her and ends up dragging it out forever or being punished for her bad attitude. Why does she put up such a fight when all I've asked is for her to pick up her shoes or put her coat in her room? Or to go play? What kid doesn't want to go play?
We've been through the discussion before about helping and being part of a family where we all help each other. . I know there are strategies to make cleaning fun etc but when I get attitude from the get go- even when we make it a game- I get so frustrated. And then last night when it wasn't even a chore I asked of her, she still got upset.
Anyone have any ideas? Right now I am so done with the bad attitude. I am about to put up a no whining sign and just point to it whenever I hear the high pitched whine start to wind up. Enough already. Hmph.
It sounds SO simple (trust me, it's NOT) but before my son really lost his mind (he's a teenager) I used to say "I don't respond to that___." Could be tone of voice, whining, whatever. And then if they keep it up, you SIMPLY.DO.NOT.RESPOND. You don't address the whining (STOP WHINING!) you don't address WHAT they're whining about, you simply continue what you were doing. It's SO HARD because your instinct is to say whatever you can to stop the behavior. There's my $.02. Good luck sister!!
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