Wednesday, October 27, 2010

30 Days of Truth: Day 4

Something you have to forgive someone for.

When Lily was born I had to grow up a lot- and quickly. My perspective on the world changed dramatically- including what is and isn't worth my time, what is and isn't important. One of the things on the "not worth my time" list was/is holding grudges. One: People make mistakes. We all do, we are human. Two: How can I hold being human against someone? Three: As a new mom especially, where on earth would I even find the time to do that?

I don't hang around much with people who don't share most of my same values- and those I do hang around with are mostly family so they are here to stay no matter what. I accept them for what they are. I don't try to change them or judge them and I hope they give me the same respect. I just don't have time to stay mad at anyone- and I think- when it comes to family- my daughter deserves those family relationships no matter how might I feel.

It wasn't easy at first. We have all been hurt by someone at one point- but as time has continued on it feels better. I don't carry around the burden of keeping all my grudges straight- who I am mad at that day for what reason. So not worth it. Why should I let someone else have that kind of control over me?

I have struggled with how to deal-forgiveness wise-with one particular person who I do have some anger and resentment towards. However, this person has never admitted any wrongdoing and thus feels no remorse for their actions. Until that point I don't feel like I can completely forgive, but I refuse to let it be a heavy burden on me. I have forgiven myself for the choices that led to me letting this person into my life though I can't say I completely regret those choices. I will never regret my beautiful amazing daughter.