Something you have to forgive someone for.
When Lily was born I had to grow up a lot- and quickly. My perspective on the world changed dramatically- including what is and isn't worth my time, what is and isn't important. One of the things on the "not worth my time" list was/is holding grudges. One: People make mistakes. We all do, we are human. Two: How can I hold being human against someone? Three: As a new mom especially, where on earth would I even find the time to do that?
I don't hang around much with people who don't share most of my same values- and those I do hang around with are mostly family so they are here to stay no matter what. I accept them for what they are. I don't try to change them or judge them and I hope they give me the same respect. I just don't have time to stay mad at anyone- and I think- when it comes to family- my daughter deserves those family relationships no matter how might I feel.
It wasn't easy at first. We have all been hurt by someone at one point- but as time has continued on it feels better. I don't carry around the burden of keeping all my grudges straight- who I am mad at that day for what reason. So not worth it. Why should I let someone else have that kind of control over me?
I have struggled with how to deal-forgiveness wise-with one particular person who I do have some anger and resentment towards. However, this person has never admitted any wrongdoing and thus feels no remorse for their actions. Until that point I don't feel like I can completely forgive, but I refuse to let it be a heavy burden on me. I have forgiven myself for the choices that led to me letting this person into my life though I can't say I completely regret those choices. I will never regret my beautiful amazing daughter.
Sweetie, I will let you decide if my comment is published.
ReplyDeleteI think you missed the real distinction here, something you have to forgive someone for. This is not forgive all sins. I fully believe that some things are forgivable and that other things are not.
You can continue on and deal with someone that you have not forgiven, without allowing it to become a burden or grudge to hold. You don't need to dwell upon it. It is simply there.
You can move on without forgiving. This is an important distinction for you to make.
In this case, I say let go, but do not forgive, nor forget.