Blessed.

I'm in the blog blehs again. So much is going on in my life...not a lot of it feels right to share so publicly. Going into the details of the trials we're going though right now just doesn't feel bearable. I'll keep posting our fun...but please still keep us in your thoughts that we stay strong and keep pushing forward...that we remember everyday the blessings we do have and are thankful. Thanks for sticking around.

Lily and Kendra using Floyd's cat tents to be "ROBOTS"

"How dare you disturb my slumber..."

...but he's just so darn cute!!!

Dash Point State Park

We took the girls down to Dash Point beach this last Saturday. As luck would have it our timing was perfect- the tide was nearly all the way out and the weather was sunny and warm- there were a lot of people but still room to spread out the picnic blanket to have a snack.

Of course the girls being themselves immediately started fighting over who would get the bucket and or shovel so they lost thier only two beach toys right off the bat. Then Lily decided she didn't want to play on the beach at all.  She sat and played in the dry sand on the picnic blanket with me while Martin and Kendra explored the beach. I tried to convince her she'd love it and have fun but with no luck.

Eventually Martin and Kendra headed back our way and Martin and I switched spots- with Kendra more than happy to explore the beach with me this time. She was soaked and covered in sand- her hair was wild but she was having a blast.

Not too long later Lily came running up with Martin not far behind. I'm still not sure how he convinced her but he did and she had fun- squishing toes in the sand, splashing in the water, finding shells and sand dollars...

Now that I think of it though...I have so many memories of going to the beach as a kid- I loved it- as far as I can remember. Lily is getting to the age where she is going to remember some of this stuff we are doing- some of the fun we're having. I have a couple of memories of my late preschool years...Maybe this day will be her first real beach memory that she keeps with her always. Could be...

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Happy Half Birthday Lily! You are four and a half (and one day- oops!) Still seems like yesterday when you were so tiny in my arms. Keep growing girl!

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This last weekend I felt a little off my game- maybe even a little cranky- but I am taking some PTO this Thursday and Friday which I am hoping lets me get a little caught up in the relaxation department...here's hoping! Lily is going to visit Gramma Deb again while Martin and I have a wedding we'll be attending.

Crazy Cuddle time with the Girls : )

Darling Daughter

My Darling Daughter-

You are my sunshine- you are my everything. Beautiful, smart, sweet and growing so fast. I love you more than you will ever know or understand- even when I seem mean and horrible- even when I make you sleep in your bed all alone. I won't abandon you. I will always be here. It breaks my heart when I know you are sad- when you feel unloved- because you are loved- by so many people. You melt all of our hearts.

Yesterday you were in the bathroom talking to Floyd. You were so cute- I coud hear the imitation in your voice- talking to him the same way I do. "What are you looking at Floyd? Don't make me get you a treat. Are you a good boy?" I must remember you are always listening even when I think you aren't.

I'm so happy we had a girl's day yesterday- shopping with you and going out for hot chocolate made my day. It was wondeful to snuggle you in a comfy chair and sip on our hot chocolates together and talk. You were talking about Uncle Johnny and Alaska and the bears in Alaska. I can see you working it all out in your mind and I am so proud of how smart you are. Going to the library with you- also one of our favorite things-and watching you be excited about books and reading- warmed my heart. I love it when you point to a word and want to know what it says. It means you are on the right track. I swear anyday now you are going to jump in and take off reading on your own.

My sweet girl. I can't wait to pick you up from your day at school and hear all about the things you learned. I can't wait to scoop you up and twirl you around and give you the biggest bear hug. I love you, girl! See you soon!

Love Always,
Mommy

Special Weekend for Lily

Click on the picture below to see Lily's special Web Album of her visit with Gramma Deb and Grampa Bruce. She obviously had lots of fun!!

Lily's Weekend with Gramma and Grampa

Thanks for the pictures guys!

Martin's Birthday Party

Sorry I'm posting a couple days late...but the girls and I had fun throwing Martin a birthday party on Tuesday- I think Martin had fun too. It was especially important to Lily that we have party hats and balloons. So cute. All of them : )

From 03-10

From 03-10

But try getting a picture where they are all looking and smiling? Um-impossible.

Ocean

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went to the ocean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love the ocean. It was... AWESOME (can you hear me singing the awesome part???)

Lily stayed with Gramma Deb and Grampa Bruce overnight for the first time (and did so great they want to have her again soon!) Yes- I need all the willing babysitters I can get!

Martin and I went to... well where didn't we go???

South Bend, Astoria, Seaside (driving through), Cannon Beach, Long Beach....a great weekend- beautiful weather on Saturday- amazing company- I couldn't ask for more.

Haystack Rock

It felt like a summer day...there were as many people as a summer day too.

I love those tiny little birds on the beach- so cute.

Anyway- for some reason we didn't take very many pictures but really it was a great weekend all around. I am pretty tired but would definitely go again-even for just the weekend- anytime. Really. Take me to the ocean again.

Artwork

Here is some of the artwork Lily has been working on lately...

This is a "Mask" she says- she's been working it a little everynight- adding more and more color

These are all the "Sponge Bob's" she made out of Playdoh- and Mr. Krabs too.

Titled "Martin Potato"

Lily described this as "Lily, Kendra and mom in a circle holding hands at Zoo Lights. Martin was there too."

As you can see she is crafty wherever she goes- just like her momma- and is always finding interesting ways to be creative. This morning she was drawing pictures in the fog on the window wondering why it "squeaked" when she ran her finger down the glass...

Oh- last night she was surprisingly ok with her no TV consequence and played nicely all evening- even though she did need a few extra cuddles. The house was so quiet and peaceful...I think I am going to regulate the TV better from now on. Well- maybe- its a good goal to have.

Admissions...

I read an article yesterday from BabyCenter (I think) about the stuff parents do but would ever admit to out loud...so I made my admission of my not so proud mommy moment this morning..
So what will you cop to??? Come on...admit it...you know you want to!

Losing It.

I admit it. I totally lost it this morning with Lily.She was out of control angry and I yelled at her- really loud. I took away every privilege I could think of- TV, treats, stuffed animals, riding her bike to school, and general "FUN." Did any of it work? Did any of it stop the crying, fit throwing, hitting, name calling and general rude (most rude kid ever I can't believe I've raised a kid who acts like this kind of rude)? Nope. Nothing. Ug. Awful.
This is what drives me crazy- she is PERFECTLY CAPABLE IN EVERY WAY- of listening and speaking and therefore pretty much getting whatever she needs (not necessarily whatever she wants). This morning she decided it was unacceptable for me to iron my pants when she wanted me to cuddle her. I told her to wait and it spiraled from there. Seriously kid???? You can't wait 30 seconds, be quiet and go sit on the couch while I finish??? So I have some pants to wear??? Apparently not.

So she lost her cuddle time for not listening, then she lost her story for throwing her breakfast because she didn't like it. She then proceeeded to yellat me, "What are you? An animal?" when I told her we were leaving before she had a chance to finish filing her nails. FILING HER NAILS????? WHO IS THIS CHILD???

Needless to say, I completely lost any amount of sanity I had left when she called me an animal- though looking back it is kind of funny now. This is when she lost everything else- including fun. Of course this set her off on an even worse fit- but there was no way I was giving in on this one. I am seriously laying down the law with this girl- though I know tonight following through with all the lost privileges is going to be another fight. Exhausting I tell you.

Does it seem like we've done all this before??? Some kind of loop we get into- and can't stop butting heads. She is going to be such a handful when she is a teenager I might end up committed. See you there. haha.