Thursday, August 4, 2011

Letting it all out.

Saturday, after a long day of fun and adventures, it all just came bubbling up and over. All the fear, sadness and confusion an almost 6 year old can possibly hold in- finally became too much and she let it all out.

I had no idea. That scares me. I had no idea she had so much she was worrying about and thinking about everyday. We spend so much time together. Yet I didn't know.

I didn't know she's frustrated that the boys won't play with her and they don't think she's strong even though she has muscles.

I didn't know she missed our old apartment. Though I did know she missed sleeping with me.

I didn't know how much she still felt the loss of Molly, Hailey and Denae from her old preschool.

I didn't know she was so scared about not knowing anyone in her Kindergarten class.

I didn't know she was so sad that I don't really play with her much any more.

I didn't know how frustrated she was with her summer class and the disproportionate ratio of boys to girls (way too many boys!)

I didn't know she was still missing Caroline who moved away.

I didn't know how deeply she continues to feel the loss of her dad in her life.

What I DO know..now? My little girl has a lot more going on in her head than I gave her credit for. I let her cry on me and I hope it helps. I know how it feels to hold all of that in and the relief that comes after letting it out.

I see so much of myself in her it's almost painful.