Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Elementary school, growing up and other terrifying things

We're gearing up to start another school year. My baby girl is growing up too fast and is starting First Grade- and Kendra is starting Second!  It feels so foreign to me to have two very definitively school age children. At times over the last several years it felt that Lily's toddler-hood would never end. Kindergarten felt like a million miles away...and now here we are: the first year complete and ready to start the next. Sometimes I miss those days feeling goofy and being silly and saying silly things. I think they've grown out of that in some ways, though not completely. I can't get away with being as silly in public anymore- I have no toddler in tow to entertain. I don't get the knowing looks from other mom's as much, and they are definitely cute in a different kind of way, having completely outgrown their baby faces. Both girls are a bit gangly and haven't quite grown into their skin yet. They still need their snuggles though.

I'm trying to get more involved in school this year. I don't know exactly how it happened but last year kind of got away from me, so this year I am trying to do more. I'm working on PTA stuff and working with a group of parents creating classroom networks for parents. I want to take a more active role in both of the kids' classrooms and make fewer excuses to myself about why not- about not having the time or flexibility. I know it will come if I make the effort. I know I'll never be a volunteer in the classroom everyday- or even every week- but I can work on helping where and when I can and building community in the school and classroom.

I still feel like the impostor mom sometimes. Just like at work- where it feels like a game of "pretend you are the manager" every day. (How can I be the manager???) How can I be the grown up mom in charge of getting people together...taking the lead...facilitating get-togethers? So surreal. I guess I always wanted to be involved but it was hard to picture what that would look like. Now I am here and it feels strange but also I think I'm not the only one who feels the same way.

Anyway, I guess I am rambling on a bit here. We've got lots coming up, school clothes/supplies shopping, possibly a "Fair Day", Lily's 7th Birthday...I'm thinking about getting them into swimming lessons in October and also I have a weekend scrap booking getaway in October too. We're going to have new routines to get used to and new teachers to meet and get to know. It is exciting but also exhausting just thinking about it. So, here goes. We're jumping in feet first.