My latest project

My first finished "Torn Paper Painting." I've been working on this for the last several weeks and am glad to finally have it finished. I used an 18x24 inch canvas and found a picture that I liked. Then I sketched the outline before starting to paint.

I used acrylic paints to create an underpainting before applying the torn paper.

The technique for the torn paper is pretty simple. I used paper I had on hand that had similar coloring, then I painted over the entire surface of the paper using the colors I used on the underpainting. After drying I tore them depending on the look I was going for. I did a lot of uniform type pieces for the sky but for the water I tore a lot of them in long strips to mimic the waves in the water.

I applied the torn paper with Modge Podge and a paintbrush (and tweezers for the really small stuff). The splashing water was by far the hardest part. I am overall very happy with this piece and I've learned a lot for the next time I take on a project like this. I created this piece to go on the wall of my work office in memory of my coworker who recently passed away.

When you can't sleep...

The moon will keep you safe. The moon will stay awake for you. (From a long gone children's board book of Lily's)

For some reason those words have always resonated with me though it isn't the dark or the eerie night quiet that keeps my eyes open.

The din of a million thoughts each vying for space and attention finds me at night. In the stillness of the night my thoughts become crashing cymbals- one after the other- waves on the shore. The next thought forms before the last completes on an endless loop.

I may be lulled to sleep eventually but for now I blog. I blog because I don't know what else to do but throw my thoughts out to the universe and hope to find peace. Hope to find a moment of peace that allows my eyes to close and forget.

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Logic. Logic brings order to seeming chaos. Logic finds the words in the scramble the numbers in the puzzle.

Yet I can't logically wrap my head around gone-ness (if that is a word). Of being here one moment and not the next. Of taking a breath and not taking another. Of life and death.

And what is more confounding is that the world doesn't stop or hesitate or even pause a breath for that first moment of goneness.

It doesn't make sense- logically- even though I know it is so.


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There are a certain number of so called stages to grief. It makes sense to go through phases after the passing of a loved one, family member....or friend. I seem to have had some part in many of those but it still hurts and I can't seem to grasp the whole thing. And yet I also have to keep moving through the day to day. What stage is that? The one where you hurt and hurt but have the knowledge that this earth holds no answers.

That one. Just let me get through.



Photo by Lori (Estep) Willson

Rest in Peace Lori- I know you are really flying with the Angels now.

We went for a drive.

We're kid-free for a few days so we decided to take a daytrip over the mountains. It was 90 degrees. I got a sunburn. It was awesome!!!!

We drove all the way to Vantage and enjoyed the beautiful views and landscape and of course the summer heat. We "hiked" a bit at the Petrified Forest too. I haven't been over the mountains in a long time and had no idea how many of the "windmills" had been put up. I know some people think they are an eyesore- but I think they are amazing in their own sort of way.

I'm so thankful Martin and I got to spend this time together- just the two of us.